Aging, as a life goal

My Grandma, Dorothy, was born June 5, 1929 and died from cancer in April 2008. 

Today would have been my Grandma's 90th birthday. She was the original Dorothy form Kansas.

I admire her and I strive to emulate her in many ways - like being a loving mother, a good listener, a good cook, a creative crafter, a storyteller, a hard worker, an honest neighbor, a faithful Christian.

When I think of her, I don't remember her weight, wrinkles or gray hair. I know she saw those things in herself, but to her family they weren't important.

I remember sitting in her kitchen while she would talk with my aunt about new diets or diet pills. In my naive mind, I thought "Who cares about that? You're great just the way you are, Grandma."

All I needed was 20 more years to find my empathy.

My aging body

As a mid-thirties female, I am noticing how critical I am of my body's natural aging/living process:

- My metabolism has slowed WAY down and birthing children has gifted me with a few extra curves.

- I have faint creases around my eyes that I like to call laugh lines.

- Facial hair is more of an issue. I see a few sun spots.

- My vision is not like a fine wine, getting better with age. 

- My thumb aches were I hurt the joint when I  tripped over my dog several years ago.

The list will continue to grow for the rest of my life, which will hopefully be long.

So here is my choice:

a.) I can waste years stressing over looking young/pretty/skinny/fashionable 

OR

b.) I can learn to love my body and enjoy my life.

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Loving your body 101, according to me

Like I said, I'm only in my mid-thirties, so I'm still figuring all of this out. (I welcome wisdom from others.) But here are a few things I've started in my quest to love my body.

1. I've stopped criticizing the mirror 

As soon as I catch a negative thought about my tummy/arms/name-a-body-part, I make myself thank my body for what it does. I thank it for letting me hug my boys today. I thank it for letting me explore beautiful places. I thank it for letting me experience life.

Then I try to follow up with something positive like "I love you for being here for me"

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2. I'm trying to Red-light my inner critic of other's bodies

How can I be more compassionate with myself and expect others to do the same if I am judging them and their actions?

I have found that these judgements happen quickly. Someday, I hope that won't be the case. But for now, I fight back by questioning my brain: Does that judgment mean they are less valuable? Does that judgement hurt them? What is a better way to see that child of God?  How does God see them?

3. I've invested in exercise that I like

I'm not a sporty gal. I played Lacrosse in high school because I didn't have to tryout and I wanted to spend extra time with my friends.

Since then, I've learned that I am happier when I exercise. My depression and anxiety are manageable and I have more energy for life.

My preferred way to exercise is hiking or using an elliptical. I've finally bit the bullet and payed for a gym membership - something I've avoided for years. And I found a gym where my kids can swim and be active as well. And guess what? I learn that I like the rowing machine, yoga classes and playing racquetball with my husband.

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4. I'm learning about foods I like and their affects on my body

This was prompted by my struggle with loosing weight and Poly Cystic Ovarian Syndrome. Because of my PCOS, I was able to get a doctor's recommendation to see a nutritionist.

My nutritionists has focused on how foods make me feel and what nutritional benefits they give me. She's also addressed my negative eating habits and taught me to become more mindful.

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5. I wear what makes me happy today

I no longer dress by what is popular or looked cute 5 years ago. I threw out all the clothes that make me feel fat, frumpy or like someone else.

 I embrace colors/styles that bring me joy - and they are different everyday. I also color-coordinated my closet, just because it feels good.

I don't have a lot of clothes, but I make what I have count. (**note** I think my husband would disagree with me on the amount of clothes I have.)

6. I ask myself what my loved ones would think if they heard my inner critic

Just like I hated to hear my Grandma criticize herself, I know my children, husband and other loved ones would never want me to think so harshly of myself. They would want me to recognize the goodness they see in me.

I think its a great gift to them (and myself) if I can move past my self-doubt and embrace a joyful life.