Lessons from Postpartum Depression

Me and my boys at a farmers market in Washington this summer.

I've talked with a couple friends recently about postpartum depression. I'm so grateful they felt comfortable asking me for advice.

In hindsight, one good thing that has come out of my ppd/a experience (besides Lucas) is a greater understanding and sympathy for anyone dealing with depression and anxiety.

I wanted to share a few resources and things I've learned that have helped me come out of a very dark and stressful time.

First, I would recommend anyone who feels they might be dealing with any form of depression or anxiety, postpartum or beyond, find a counselor to talk to. Its a great place to start and a good counselor can help you identify ways to deal with life's challenges and then identify if you might need a little additional help. LDS Family Services is a great place to start, although I found my counselor through my family doctor.

Second, here are a few books that I found helpful:

Third, here are some of my own personal insights to how I've overcome PPD/A (beyond visiting a couselor and taking an antidepressant). Some things I've learned for overcoming ppd/a are:

- I need excercise at least every other day. And it takes me about 30 minutes of cardio before I feel my dark moods lift.

- I need one hour to myself EVERY DAY. That isn't possible every day, but it is always what I strive for. My husband knows this and is very supportive when I need a break after he comes home. I also like to hire babysitters! (a little harder to do, now that school is back in session).

- I have had to change my expectations for my house, my children, myself and my family. Basically, I place way to much stress on myself by wanting things clean and neat AND always trying to have the perfect family activities and dinners.

- I need time alone with my husband to reconnect. We try for a weekly date, but even just watching fun shows together or talking once the kids are asleep make a big difference.

- I can feel when my anxiety or dark moods are coming on/getting worse. Recognizing those changes early on and then changing my path can help. Basically, I do better when I switch gears to do something fun instead of continuing on with stress. Taking my kids to do something outside, instead of looking at all the work in my house. Watching a show instead of trying so hard to do an "Educational" activity with my preschooler. Accepting I'm going to be late for church, instead of bossing everyone to hurry up.

- When I feel anxious, it helps to talk through my worries with Scott. He actually has a list of questions that we run through: "What is your worry?" "What is the worst that could happen?" "What is the evidence this will or will not happen?" "So what if it does happen?" "What would you tell a friend with this same concern?" Sounds cheesy, but amazingly helpful.

- And last, but not least - counting my blessings. When I am having a bad day, I've found that my mind obsesses over my worries until I take a minute to find at least 10 things that I am grateful for. It is hard to do when your mood is foul and black, but it always helps a little. Sometimes my mood is still dark, but never as dark as before.

- The power of prayer and priesthood blessings are amazing.


Those are a few things that have helped me. I'm always happy to be a listening ear if anyone needs to talk.