Postnatal Insomnia anyone?

Ever since Lucas was born, I have not been able to fall asleep at night. A few rare times, I have napped - but never in my bed. My bed is now this place of stress. I dread nights and feel anxious the closer bedtime comes. When I try to fall asleep on my own, relaxation breathing and other techniques don't work. I've met with my doctor and we developed a plan. For now, I am taking sleeping pills and trying to de-stress my life. I hate that I need to take sleeping pills. I never realized how terrifying it can feel to know you can't fall asleep on your own. I hate it.


Apparently, a lot of women suffer from this after giving birth. Why doesn't anyone ever talk about it? Or do I just not know the right women?

I read an article written in the U.K. Times. Its a little old (2009) but discusses exactly what I'm dealing with. Specifically these quotes:

• "Insomnia spirals with anxiety, “worrying if the baby is okay, and if you’re being a good mother”. Then there is the agony of lying awake with a stream of miserable thoughts racing through your mind, which can undermine a mother’s confidence. That, in turn, creates more exhaustion and insomnia."

• "One of the worst parts of the insomnia, she says — and others agree — is that “your brain goes to these really dark, twisted places, which, in the cold light of day, seem like nothing”

• "Sophie, 36, a head of communications, was struck by debilitating insomnia for the first time with her second baby — even though he was sleeping well. “Sleep deprivation, which all new parents experience, makes you tired and grumpy. But this was a whole new ballgame,” she says. The slightest noise would wake her. “Then I got caught in a vicious cycle of exhaustion breeding anxiety breeding insomnia. I dreaded going to bed because I was so terrified of the insomnia, and, of course, that made it worse. In the small hours, lying awake, I really lost my mind.” 

It sucks. I hate it and want it to stop.