Lessons from my own experience with Depression and Anxiety

Recently, I've been talking with a friend who is struggling with depression and anxiety. Its led me to think about a few things I've learned from my own experiences.

After the birth of Lucas, my second child, I found myself overwhelmed with anxiety and depression. It took me about a year to stabalize. Since then I deal with recurrences during stressful times and around my period. Here are a few things I've learned along the way:

1. Knowing how to recognize my triggers and hormone patterns has helped me cope.  Before I understood this, the worry that I would forever feel that low was extremely damaging. It made my lows lower and affected my ability to bounce back. Now I am able to prepare myself (and my husband) as well as comfort myself with the knowledge that I will be okay. That is worth more than a million dollars to me.

2. Its important that I am selective with who I confide in when I am at my lowest.  Too many people don't understand and can innocently say things that make me feel worse. Or, say nothing at all - which is just as bad. I value the friends (and family members) who can empathize and listen without judgement (and lots of love). 

3. My decision about medication is between me, my husband and trusted health professionals. No one else gets a say because they don't really know. They may think they do - but they don't ;) One of my biggest pet peeves is people suggesting the refusal of antidepressants for fear of dependence on medicine. Or, that everything can be solved with the right oil or diet. While those things can help, they will not make depression or anxiety disappear. If only it was that easy. I am so grateful for modern day medicine and the support of my doctor and counselor. I highly recommend seeking help from professionals.

4. Sometimes these things help, sometimes they don't. Service (usually listening to someone who needs to talk), Exercise (low impact, easy stuff - like walking, yoga, or bike rides), Food (nutrient dense foods and sometimes indulging in a favorite food), Forgiving (myself) and Relaxation (doing whatever the heck I want - which is usually reading or watching chick flicks). There are so many little things I'm learning to do that can help me get through bad days. They don't make them go away, but can help. 

5. By re-evaluating my expectations for myself, my life and my family I can reduce stress.  Stress leads to anxiety and depression. Often I cause my own stress with unrealistic expectations placed on myself and my family. I often don't realize all the lofty goals I hold myself to until I feel like a failure. When I re-evaluate, I am able to realize what is truly important and what I can let go of. Like I don't need to have a spotless home to be a good mother. Once I let go of that expectation, my life got a whole lot easier. 

If a loved one or friend is struggling with depression or anxiety, give them a hug and let them know they are not alone. Let them know they will get through it. They will be okay again and that they have support. Most importantly, encourage them to reach out for help and support.