I would like to siphon someones energy

Me wearing Soren's Halloween mask. This is how I've been feeling lately.

When the weather changes, I change to. 

I can feel it happen once fall hits, when the sun rises late and sets early. I get more irritable and just want to crawl in a cave to hibernate. This year seems especially rough. A couple weeks ago I met with my nurse practitioner and upped some antidepressants. Its helped me some, but I still have little motivation and energy. I drag half the morning and seem to just get going before I crash again after lunch. 

I've been blaming it all on S.A.D, but someone recommended I get my vitamin D and Iron levels checked. I met with my doctor this morning and he had some good suggestions for me either way - buy brighter light bulbs, exercise outside around 2 p.m., eat more greens and red meat, don't take on extra stress (like sewing halloween costumes right before halloween). All easier said than done when I'm lacking so much energy. I find myself hoping its the vitamin D and an easier fix than just being depressed.

I think the real answer here is that I need to move somewhere sunny and warm. 

But until then, I have this fun little challenge where the perfectionist side of me is constantly disappointed in myself for leaving dishes and laundry piled high and letting my kids run wild or watch too much tv. There is so much I'd like to do, but can't summon the strength. I'd like that perfectionist side to give it a rest already. And I'd like to move to Tahiti for the winter. 

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While I'd love to end on that note, I would be ungrateful not to remember some of the things that have brought me joy lately. So here is today's Counting My Blessings list:
  1. I love teaching Primary songs to the kids at church every Sunday. Its a big highlight of my week. 
  2. My boys cuddle with me a lot and its really sweet.
  3. Leo is the best and walking/playing with him always helps me forget my worries
  4. I love watching Doctor Who and Parks and Recreation with Scott in the evenings. 
  5. I made the best Pizza Rolls tonight - even Soren ate them. 
  6. I'm grateful for good friends to visit with on the phone and throughout the day. Its nice having so many near and far to stay in touch with.
  7. I'm grateful for my library and kindle. I've become quite the bookworm this fall and read some really fun stuff. 
  8. I'm looking forward to visiting with family for Thanksgiving. 
  9. I got to go to the Temple on Friday and I'm grateful for the reminder of how important my family is. 
  10. I'm grateful for music and that I'm learning to play the Violin. Its another good stress relief. 
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Comments

Paul and Susan said…
What a great idea to list the things that are good in your life when depression overshadows you. I am trying to write down one thing a day that is my "happy". Do you remember when you children were kids I would ask you what was your "happy" for the day and what was you "sad"? (I think I learned that from the Joy School pre-school.) Sometimes it really opened my eyes to how you were feeling. I like your list. Good for you!
3:14 PM
Melissa said…
Mom, I do remember that! I had forgotten about it until now, but I'll have to try that with Soren.
6:34 PM
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